


Asset by blood

by Melody hitachiin (Lolabug7)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Hydra (Marvel), More tags to be added, Objectification, Triggers for rape, Violence, rough childhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-24 03:55:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10733610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lolabug7/pseuds/Melody%20hitachiin
Summary: Conceived for Hydra's use and raised in the red room, trained to be the next winter soldier.She didn't know how to live outside of Hydra, and that's just how they liked it. Till the good guys come alone and teach her that life's not just being ready to comply.(also there's a twist, but since its an obvious ass twist iv elected to ignore it)





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> Hello
> 
> This is short and kinda rushed but I'm putting it up here anyways, the second chapter I'll save for tomorrow. 
> 
> I'll come back and edit this when I have time but.
> 
> Feel free to gimme heads up on any spelling and go check out my other fics  
> Enjoy!

Chapter one  
\--------------  
Red room raised Masha Kaprov was their greatest success since Natasha.  
At 13 she had six confirmed kills and had never failed a mission. Today at 15 she had eight and had still never failed a mission. She was born during a time where Hydra and the red room worked together and so she was given to the red room with the promise of returning to hydra when she graduated. And so at fifteen when she had completed her training she left for a hydra base somewhere in Siberia, out in the middle of nowhere.

 

(Your POV)

You remembered when you had first gotten to the base three months ago. They gave you a small room and told you to train and wait for your mission before they would put you in cryo. A few of the older doctors made jokes about your father when they thought you weren't listening. Unlike the red room, the people at hydra underestimated you because of your age and looks. You had bright blue eyes and long thick brown hair and if it wasn't for you being a highly trained assassin your sure you would be taken by every man in this place. 

When the time finally came they put you on a jet and flew you off to another base in Washington DC. After getting off the jet they put you in a car and drove off to the city.  
You watched all the buildings and people pass by when you finally found your way to a large fancy looking tower that belonged to Shield. They parked in the underground and you were escorted up to director pierce's office. One look at the man and you could tell he was a hard ass but you smiled non the less. " so our little princess finally came back." He smiled walking towards you. " I don't think we've met sir" you held out your hand and he took it. " actually we have" he moved to sit down at his desk gesturing for you to sit as well. " i know your mother and father very well, in fact i gave the order for your existence. You felt a shudder come down your spin but hid it as you sat waiting for your mission briefing. " your mission is a level six target, you'll be working with another asset and I know you don't work well with others but your under his command" you nod " yes sir I understand but I'm sure I could do it alone for a level six" his smile faded " I thank you for the input but things in hydra are different then the red room so, you'll work with the asset and I'll be following you to another base to watch your training with him before the mission tomorrow" you nodded standing heading back to the car with the men from before. You drove to a bank parking in front of the bank. Getting out following the men into the bank and down to an underground floor. 

You were given a pair of small black workout shorts and a training bra with the hydra symbol in the back, and told to put it on. They stood watching as you stripped from your hoodie and jeans putting on the tight outfit. After half an hour of running on the treadmill at its highest speed you were told to stop and get ready for your sparring match with the asset. You walked into the room seeing the large mats on the floor and the window with five or six men standing ready to watch the fight, the director in front. Moments after you entered the asset came in with a mask and goggles that covered his face and full tactical gear, but what stood out the most was his metal arm. You looked over to the window with raised eyebrows. He came up to you not even saying anything before he lashed out throwing fists.  
His movements were fast and well calculated and to say the least he was stronger and frankly better then you. What caught your eye was the fact that they made him wear a mask while training, were the spectators not allowed to see his face? Or, did you know him? There were always myths and fairytales in the red room of the assassin called the winter soldier. The stories had been around for almost seventy years of a metal armed ghost, and if it wasn't for this assets speed you would believe it was him.  
But even behind the mask and goggles you could tell he was young, to young to be the famous assassin. 

Even with his surprising speed he couldn't keep up with your small form. He had the size and strength, but you had the advantage with being smaller and more flexible. He threw punches and kicks occasionally trying to grab your throats with his metal hand but you dodged him watching and he got annoyed. Finally snapping he caught the leg you swung at his head and twisted it before pulling you closer to him. He wrapped his arm around your neck and began to choke you. You grabbed his arm pulling all his weight and lifted your legs around his neck, he kept his grip tight on your throat and moved his other hand to pry off your legs. Your vision was covered with little black dots as you began to get tired but you kept going. You moved your arms from his hand and wrapped them around his waist as you tightened your legs pulling his head forward. After almost a minute of you trying to get the better hand you finally tapped out. He dropped you and you took a second to regain your breath.  
He walked around you waiting for you to stand before he struck again, but this time you weren't having it. You swung your leg out but he stepped back anticipating your move. You stood stepping back waiting for him to charge but he stood his ground. You charged at him doing a cartwheel before you pushed off your hands and got your legs around his throat once again. You quickly tightened your grip with your legs bringing yourself up and then used your elbow to hit his back. His vision blocked from your thighs he stumbled towards a wall hitting your back against it but you held on. He tried again and again before he moved practically throwing all his weight forward. He crashed down using you as a pillow. You grunted as you tried to catch your breath but he shot his arm out once again you tilted your legs slightly showing that you could breath his neck and he let go symboling that you won this round. Pierce and the other  
Five men walked out talking amongst themselves. " very good soldier you may go back to your bunk" pierce said towards the asset. He grunted walking out while you stood watching as the other men walked out and down the hall. The director stood silent looking you over as you waited for orders. " you did well. Not many people can beat the asset" you nodded " he's strong and fast for his size not to mention that arm of his. He's the most challenging opponent iv ever had" pierce nodded. "Well I am glad to see that you can beat the winter soldier in a fight without injuries, maybe your more needed in DC then I thought." Your eyes widened " sir, I thought the winter soldier was a myth? Not to mention his age!" He hummed walking towards the door gesturing you to follow. " like you will be, he is put into cryogenic preservation so he stays young throughout the years, alone with the serum that flows through his blood"  
He walked into a room with a weird chair in the middle and stopped. " you have that very same serum in your blood which is why your so strong and how you heal so quickly" you kept your face neutral masking your surprise as he kept talking.  
" this here" he pointed to the chair " is how the asset.. keeps a clear head" it's used to wipe his memories about previous missions and other memories that may jeopardize the completion of the mission" you walked around it looking over the machine. " if you can't carry out your missions with the same accuracy as the asset then you will be subjected to the same process" he finished tuning to look at you. " the missions we give you are all very important no matter the target level, if you fail to complete a mission then you will be punished and then wiped" you nodded following him back to your bunk. " your to be up at 6, you will go to a mission brief alone as the asset has his conditioning. After you will gear up and head out" you nodded " yes sir." And he left.  
' your bunk' was nothing more then a small cot and a toilet with a reinforced door with a small dim light that was just bright enough hanging over head. After sitting on your bed for at least an hour the door oped and you were given your food, a small bowl of what could only be described as mush and a protein bar. You ate quickly then sat waiting till they'd take it away. They came not an hour later and brought you out to a tile covered room, the soldier was there too. They told you both to strip down and face the wall, both obeying the order you stripped and turned to the wall. they sprayed you down with ice cold water from a powerful hose that hurt when it hit you. Like the soldier, you didn't complain or fight back you just stood there waiting for your next order. After they finished they threw you both towels and told you to dry off. They gave the asset his close first telling him to change as two other guards came towards you with hungry looks. You stood as they ran their hands down your body while they whispering back and forth to each other. As one started to unbuckle his pants you were about to push him away for disobeying his orders, not to ' touch the merchandise'. But in a blink of an eye he was across the room with his head cracked open bleeding out on the floor. You and the other guard both looked at each other quickly before looking to the asset with equity confusion looks. The asset, now fully dressed was glaring at the guard on the floor.  
he quickly turned his gaze to the one still standing next to you. The man practically squeaked as he ran out the door leaving you with the soldier and the dead guard. You looked at the asset and he moved to grab your clothes before giving them to you. He got down on his knees and put his hands on his head looking at you for another moment before his eyes shifted forward waiting. You stood holding your clothes still naked with a confused look on your face, " you didn't have to do that, I'm used to the guards taking advantage of me" you said quietly causing his eyes to drift back to you with a between pain and pity. His eyes looked so similar to yours. He opened his mouth to say something but shut it just as a large group of guards came running in with their guns pointed to the soldier still kneeling on the ground. Pierce came in soon after with furious look on his face, he moved towards the guard that had been touching me with the other that was still on the floor. " get him out of here! I don't want him near her unless it's on a mission!" He growled he taking a step closer to the guard who was practically pissing himself for the second time today. " what happened" he snapped and the man jumped shrinking down. " we were washing down the assets and after they dried off Jackson wanted to have some fun with her so he started touching her while the soldier was getting dressed" you assumed Jackson was the man in the pool of blood. " he didn't move till Jackson started to unbuckle his pants then the he just lost it and threw him across the room!" Pierce looked towards you for a moment with a curious look in his eyes. " did he say anything?" The man shook his head. Pierce dismissed him and you were left standing alone still naked with the director. " get dressed and return to your bunk" he said quickly leaving. You dressed quickly but followed him towards the room with the wipe chair in it. You hid behind the wall listening to the men as they spoke. " why did you help her" pierce asked, the asset didn't answer. There was a loud slapping sound and the director repeated his question.  
" they weren't her mission" he said faintly, " who is she to you?" Pierce questioned.  
" she's another asset to hydra and a partner for an upcoming mission" there was another slap " why did you help her? Why did you kill the guard?" His voice rising.  
" because she looks like me" he said and there was another slap. You leaned over seeing the asset clamped down in the chair with pierce standing over him. " she is an asset, she is nothing more to you and if you disobey another order I will have no choice but to wipe you both" he jerked in his chair and growled slightly but the thick metal claps kept him at bay. You heard footsteps coming down the hall so you quickly ran back to your bunk leaving yourself to sit in the dark. 

As told you were woken up at six and given an hour to eat breakfast. They brought you to a meeting room and briefed you on the mission. That it self took an hour but for some reason the soldiers briefing took over three hours. You both met were brought to another room with your Strike team and began to gear up. They gave you a suit much like the soldiers but yours had two arms and two silver stripes that ran up the sides of your suit stopping under the arm. You were given three small silver balls that were small grenades and then two pistols with ammo, one for each hip. They let you choose what ever else you wanted and you naturally grabbed multiple knives. Four throwing knives and an eight inch serrated steal blade. They gave you a mask similar to the assets and then off you went to completely your mission. 

 

You and the asset were the last resort of the mission as they had over ten other agents dressed as cops to take out the target. You followed the asset as he walked out into the middle of the road. He shot the targets car with a advanced grenade launcher and the SUV flipped upside down. The soldier dodged the car with grace as is slid down the road before slowing to a stop. you could only watch as he ripped the door off the car. "He's gone " he said in Russian walking back towards the car you both arrived in. You sat silently in the car as he sped off ditching his mask and goggles. Using his sleeve to wipe away his make up around his eyes.  
You looked at him intensely as he drove ignoring the sideways glances he'd give you. He looked so much like you. " are you my father?" You whispered He slammed on the brakes turning to face you with a shocked and slightly confused look on his face. " no" he replied quickly as he started to drive again, but you could see he was thinking about it as he drove. You weren't sure how he knew where the target would go but he drove towards an apartment and got out making his way up to the roof next to the building. You followed him up with watching as he looked around before going back to the car and grabbing his sniper and coming back to the roof. You both watched for hours before you saw the target in a small beat up car pull up behind the building. The soldier watched as the target limped up through the window and disappeared behind the wall. You nudged him slightly " you could have shot him, you've let him get away" you whispered in Russian, it always had to be Russian during a mission. He shook his head " wait." And so you did. Not long later a man pulled up on a motorcycle and went into the building. After a few minutes you saw him talking to someone in the apartment where the target had gotten in. He pulled out a small device and began to play with it before the voice of your target and the blond man came through your coms. " my wife kicked me out" the target said " I didn't know you were married"  
" there's a lot of things you don't know about me." The blond man put down what you thought was a shield and turned on a light " I know nick that's the problem" the light turned off after a few seconds and there was a pause before they kept speaking.  
" shoot now they're onto the bug" you whispered and he shot through the wall one higher then the other two the blond man acted quickly dragging him out of sight.  
The soldier took apart his gun fast and threw it at you before he started running. " go, jump down and go to the car, I'll hold him off if need be" he said as he ran quickly behind you. You jumped down rolling as you neared the end of the building and you turned to see a man about ready to break through the glass as James jumped down and was running towards you. You jumped down and the soldier was right behind you as he caught the shield the man had thrown. Even from three floors down through the window you had swung into, you could hear the shield collide with the soldiers arm.  
You both ran to the car driving off before the police and shield got there. He drove for a while before pulling into an ally and getting out and changing into a pair of jeans and a leather jacket, while you changed into jeans and a small hoodie with some sort of symbol on the front and small letters on the bottom saying some sort of gibberish.  
You sighed getting back into the car as drove into a small motel parking lot across from the ally you raised a brow " are we not going back to the base?" He shook his head, "this was not part of the mission" he stayed silent as he got out of the car grabbing his bags. You followed him as he booked a room for the night watching as he went into the room. He dropped the bags down on the bed closer to the door and began looking around the room, for you assumed bugs or cameras. " this was not part of the mission asset" he turned walking towards you leaning down so he was very close to your face as his eyes bore holes into yours. " I am in charge, I am your superior until we complete the mission and return to base, you will not question me and you will do as your told" he said in a dark tone " or you will be punished" you nodded unsure what to say. 

 

After he looked around the room he took the chair from the desk and put it in between the beds facing the door. " sleep now, I'll keep watch" you nodded " are we taking turns?" He glared at you " can I trust you to keep watch without falling asleep?"  
Now it was your turn to glare menacingly at him. " I know how to do my job" you spat out. He huffed looking back to the door his grip on his gun tightening. " wake me for my shift" you said laying down facing the window gripping the knife under your pillow.  
You felt someone's hand on your shoulder, your eyes snapped open and you put the knife to their throat, realizing it was the soldier you dropped your hand sitting up and looking around the room. It was bright out meaning you had slept through the whole night. " your shift" he said moving to the other bed. " but it's already morning" you sat up moving to the bathroom. " we have another mission, we leave at eight" he said through the door. You sighed before you opened the door and moved to sit in the chair. " I'll wake you at seven" and with that he closed his eyes and relaxed. You sat still listening as his breathing slowly evened out. You looked over to his face, so relaxed and innocent, he looked like a different person.  
The day was quiet as you sat in the chair and occasionally looked out the window for what felt like an infinity, but as the clock hit seven you stood to wake him" soldier" you said causing his eyes to snap open " it's time" he looked at the clock and stood going to the bathroom quickly before you both dressed in your gear and left. 

After an hour and a half of driving he parked next to a fancy house and got out hopping the fence and walking towards the back of the house. You followed him inside as he sat down at the table in the kitchen blending in with the shadows you stood behind him, your hand on your gun as he put his down on the table and waited silently. There was a woman getting ready to leave and you wondered if she would see you. After sitting in the dark, silent for almost twenty minutes director Pierce walked into the kitchen opening the fridge and grabbing the milk, he turned putting it Down, doing a double take towards you both as he slowly closed the fridge. " I'm going to go now mr. Pierce, do you need anything before I leave?" The woman asked causing your grip on your gun to tighten. " No. it's fine Renata... you can go home" he said sounding slightly nervous. She said good bye and walked out the door as pierce moved to grab a glass. " You want some milk?" you both stayed silent watching as he pored himself a glass " the timetable has moved. Our window is limited" he moved to sit across from both of you. "Two targets level six. They already cost me Zola. I want confirmed death in ten hours" you lifted the gun from its holster as the woman from before came back " I'm sorry mr. Pierce I forgot my phone" she looked towards you and the soldier her eyes wide. " oh Renata I wish you would have knocked" he grabbed the soldiers gun from the table shooting her down. He put the gun back on the table sighing " go back to the base for mission brief and then in the afternoon you'll move out. The soldier stood ready to move out when pierce spoke " how's the widow doing?" The soldier glanced at you before looking back at him " she's distracting" Pierce chuckled lightly " well that better be fixed because you have a mission to complete tomorrow" he turned to leave as you followed out going back to the car. 

You followed the targets till they were crossing the bridge on the highway before you made a move to kill them. The soldier gets out of the car through the window and waits on the roof as they near the targets car. You watch as he jumps onto the cars roof before he punches through the back window and pulls out Sitwell. He shoots through the roof a few times before they hit the breaks sending him flying of and onto the road. They don't move as your car nears them and smashes into the back of their car pushing them forwards. The soldier jumps flipping in mid air landing on the roof of their car steadying himself before he punches through the front window and ripping out their steering wheel. Before jumping onto the hood of your car. You kept smashing into them before the car finally flipped rolling away. You pulled over letting the soldier jump off the hood and move back over towards them as the rest of your team armed both you and the soldier. You watched as he shot a grenade at the man with the shield causing him to go flying as the woman and the other man ducked down. The four others stood behind the soldier shooting at the targets as you and the soldier both walked towards them. The soldier shot at the red head till she jumped off the bridge and out of sight. You ran towards the edge kneeling down as the soldier traded in the grenade launcher for another gun. He stood looking for her when the shots went off and he fell back behind the wall next to you. He froze for a moment before he slowly lifted his hands to pull off his goggles that had chipped from her shooting at him. You stood shooting down at where she had been before she shot out from behind the trunk that had flipped the bus where the blond man was. You shot at her as she ran down the street behind the car. " I have her. You find him" he said to you as he jumped off the bridge landing on the car below. You followed after him moving towards the bus as the other men stood with you. You shoot the bus from one end to another watching as he jumped out grabbing his shield and blocking the bullets. He knocked out the others as the other man with them shot some of the men down. The blond ran up towards you knocking you down with his shield so you played dead as he ran off to find the woman. After a minute you got up shooting at the man on the bridge as you ran off to find your target. You got to the soldier and the blond fighting just to see the soldiers mask come off. You stopped running looking at him as he turned looking at the blond. " Bucky?" They blond said " who the hells Bucky" the soldier said taking a step forwards. You heard something coming and as you turned you saw the man from the bridge wearing wings as he kicked down the soldier. You took a step forwards but the soldier stood looking towards the blond. You saw the woman with the soldiers gun " duck " you yelled and he did, as she shot a grenade at him. You turned running behind the buildings and back towards the bridge before you saw the soldier running the opposite direction. You turned following him as he broke into a car and hot wired it before taking off down the street. You could tell something was wrong with the soldier as he gripped the wheel hard and his face contorted into pain and confusion as he drove, but you said nothing. You blamed it on the fact that you both failed your first mission. 

After you made it back to the base they fixed you both up and sent you back to your bunk as they started the repairs for the soldiers arm. After twenty minutes of silence you heard the soldiers screams loudly even from your bunk. You couldn't avoid the shudder that crawled down your back when he stopped. 

They kept you in your room as they sent the soldier off on another mission and after hours of silence you caught wind that the soldier had failed his mission and didn't come back to the base. They had you on lock down since they thought you might try and escape along with the soldier or something alone those lines. Nobody goes in your bunk and nobody comes out, your food being the only thing they needed to open the door for they changed the bowls and slipped them along with your protein bars through the little slot in the door. 

 

After a month they began to trust you enough that they would let you out of your room and only another two before you had a mission and then into cryo. Your mission was small and easily accomplished alone, killing some VP wouldn't be a problem, but of course then sent three other agents to make sure you returned. And when you did with no problem they just smiled. You knew that you should have just killed the other agents and made a run but you didn't want to leave till you could take them down so you wouldn't Have to hide. 

They washed you down and gave you a towel to dry off, they smiled as they lead you down the hall with nothing but a towel. But all you could think was to thank them that this time you had a towel. They lead you down to he cryo tanks and told you to drop the towel and lay back. The tank was on a tilt so you could stand while leaning against it, it was cold and uncomfortable but who cares when it's about to get a lot colder. As it got colder it got hard to breath, you panicked tapping on the glass before you finally faded into the darkness. 

 

The first thing you noticed when you woke up was that it was warm. Warm, soft and comfortable almost like a bed. The more you laid there the more you could have thought it really was a bed, you didn't want to open your eyes you didn't want to go back to them. You heard a door open your comfort flew out the window, quickly sitting up you opened your eyes scanning the room and the man that walked in. " your ok my name is-" you rolled off the bed standing in front of him " orders?"  
He looked uncomfortable, something didn't seem right you tuned looking around the room finally taking in the view through the windows that took up two of the walls. " uh my name is Bruce your with the avengers, your safe" you turned back to him confused as to who the avengers were " I'm sorry sir I don't understand, I Need to speak to the director for my orders" his face moulded into sadness as he nodded " I'll go get him, you stay here" you nodded " yes sir" you watched as he left. You looked around the room once again taking in your surroundings, not long after the nervous man left another man came into your room. " director" you said nodding to him.  
" you've been gone along time and I need a report" you nodded waiting, " I want your history in the best detail to your knowledge."  
" birth date august 2000, day unknown. birth name Masha Kaprov, code names winter widow and less know, siren. Birth parents, unknown. Conceived for hydras use and raised in the red room trained to be the next winter soldier. Missions completed twelve, missions failed one, confirmed kills ten. Put under cryo for further use." The man looked disgusted but nodded " good job" he said moving to grab a chair and sat gesturing for you to do the same. You sat on the edge of the bed watching with fascination of how the new hydra worked. " can I call you Masha or do you prefer something else?" You tilled your head confused " I'm not permitted to made decisions unless needed during a mission. But the director before you along with other assets and agents called me either asset or soldier." He visibly cringed " listen, your not with hydra anymore, you don't have to take orders and you can make decisions now." You looked at him shocked " did I not perform to their standards?" He looked shocked " no y-" he sighed " hydra and the red room were the bad guys, we saved you. The avengers are the good guys." You were so confused by this man it made you feel sick. " but what is my purpose out of cryo without a mission?" He sighed louder this time " hydra messed you up, you don't have a mission anymore. Your mission is to just live life" you looked at the man for a moment taking in his appearance. His jeans and tee shirt worn and old, but his running shoes seemed new and expensive. "ok?" Was all you said. He smiled " ok well I got your room all set up but first I wanted to run some tests, but if you would like they can hold off till later." You really didn't like all the choices you were getting to make. Standing he lead you to the through the doors and down the halls to a lab. He lead you to a small table and you moved to sit on it waiting.  
As he brought in the man from before, Bruce you remembered he said.  
He walked you through what he was doing and you just nodded unsure why he was telling you. " I'm just going to collect a couple vials of blood" he said as he brought over two small vials and the needle. " don't you need more then that?" You questioned  
" well I do but I don't want you to feel dizzy if I take to much" he tied a band to your arm trying to find a vain. " I can function at peak capabilities with the lose of 5 pints" you said almost robotically. Bruce looked to the other man who you still hadn't learned the name of and they both seemed to be having a conversation just by looking at each other. " grab four and test one against Steves" the man said as Bruce nodded grabbing another two vials. After they collected blood they ran an agility test which they had to stop after twenty minutes of running at your highest speed. They did a simple IQ test and many others you didn't know the use of. It was getting dark when you finally left the lab following Tony(who gave his name after you finally asked) to your new bunk.  
Walking into the room your eyebrows instantly flew up, shocked by the room before you. It was large with rich red walls and a matching bed set for the large king sized bed. To the left was a dresser and a full length mirror on the wall, and to the right was a book shelf and a fat chair next to it with an open door that lead to a bathroom. You turned towards him with a straight face hiding your surprise, " am I sharing a room with you sir?" You asked masking your discomfort, " what! No" he sputtered.  
" this is your room, it's just yours" he said staying near the door while you walked around, " even the bathroom is bigger then my last bunk, thank you sir." He smiled again " it's no problem, we don't have any clothes for you so I'll get Natasha to lend you some before we can get you some" you nodded watching as he turned towards the door "I'll leave you be for now. Everyone is in the lounge so feel free to come down there if you want, I'll make sure you get dinner if you don't come down. And if you want to know how to get there or just need anything ask Jarvis, he's... everywhere" you arched a brow " Jarvis?" You asked to the ceiling, " yes miss. Kaprov?" The voice asked. You jumped looking at Tony, his smile still not fading " alright well I'll leave you" he closed the door and you were left in the room alone. Unsure what to do you sat on the bed going over what just happened in your head, trying to make sense of it all.  
Maybe just maybe, you really weren't with Hydra anymore. But what were you supposed to do without missions, what was the soldier doing? Did he go back, or did he learn how to live?

" Jarvis?" You waited till he replied, " when is dinner coming?"  
" dinner has just been served downstairs. Would you like me to send some up to you or would you care to join mr. Stark and the others" you thought about it for a moment " I'll go downstairs" you said wondering if they would actually let you leave. The voice responded almost instantly giving you directions as you followed them. Left, right, elevator and out to the others.  
The rest of the building was just as fancy as the labs and rooms, stark must be very rich was all you could think before you saw Bruce and Tony with the others they spoke of eating in a lounge. You stood waiting, unsure if you were to just join them or wait to be summoned but as they all turned you saw all their faces. The blond and the red headed woman, from your failed mission sat with the others. You shifted into a defensive stance, scanning the room for potential weapons.  
You ran towards the bar to the left and slid behind the counter grabbing the gun you assumed they would have. You aimed it at the the blond watching as they as stood moving towards you slowly as if you were a wild animal. Except for Bruce who was moving away from the situation. You switched the aim from the blond to the red head back and forth unsure what to do before Tony stepped towards you. " hay, look we're friendlys, remember?" He said raising his hands to try and calm you. " but they're my mission, I-I'd never failed a mission before" your grip on the weapon tightening. You watched as they both began to recognize you, even without the mask, and they looked to the group, before the blond took a step forwards. " my name is-" you cut him off " Steven Grant Rodgers, alias Captain America, born July fourth 1918. Carrier of the super soldier serum, level six target, maximum cation, confirm kill in ten hours. Mission failed" you said looking towards the red head " Natalia Alianovna Romanova, Aliases Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow. Born 1928, date unknown. Graduated the black widow program, level six target, maximum cation, confirm kill in ten hours. Mission failed." They stood, Steve and Natalia glancing back and forth to each other while tony and the other people you didn't know stood ready to jump into action but otherwise very confused. " you were his mission before he disappeared. Did you kill him?" Steve's brows furrowed for a moment before he shook his head " he's not dead, he's not with hydra. He was your partner right?" You gave a short nod " the soldier was my superior, though hydra treated him off mission differently. He was given wipes and conditioning, he wasn't a person" Steve nodded " his name is Bucky, and he was taken by hydra and forced to do those things." You began to lower the gun still unsure of what to do but Natasha spoke up " did they wipe you to?" You took a deep breath looking towards tony before putting the gun down. " I was breed for the purpose of taking over for the soldier when he became non functional" you spat out watching their reactions twist from remorse to horror. " why were you trained in the red room? Surely hydra could have trained you just as well?" You nodded " they didn't care about me unless I could perform the missions they needed and that included my training till I was of age where I could perform at peak capabilities." 

After a while of talking you began to relax slightly. But you were still unsure of what to make of your new life. You had eaten dinner only to throw up not long after because you'd never eaten something with so much flavour. After you finished Natalia had made a bowl with what looked similar to the mush, you'd been able to stomach that and three granola bars she'd tossed you. After eating, for the second time you found your way back to your room, (with the help of Jarvis.) in the morning you left your room to get breakfast but stopped hearing tony talking about your test results. You hid behind the wall facing the small group.

" she's stronger, faster, smarter then she should be, hell shes even faster then Steve!" His voice laced with excitement. " her serum is close to Steve's but she's only got a little amount of it, I'm still not sure why hydra wouldn't give her a full dose of it, she'd be unstoppable" you took the opportunity to join in walking towards the group ready to sit and eat. " from what I know, I was given the serum while still in utero. They believed it would enhance my mental capabilities alone with my growth rate." Tony was flipping through a projection from his phone with a look Like a kid in a candy store. " your not mentioned in any of the files hydra leaked?" You shook your head " it was requested by the director that all my file information is kept off paper and computer so all my file information is kept by an EID." They looked at you waiting for an explanation making you sigh " an EID is an person with an eidetic memory. They memorize my file information and keep it in their head for years" Steve looked surprised while tony looked impressed. " smart, who it it that keeps your info? I'll pick em up and we can have a chat" tony said doing something on his phone. " each EID is kept at a remote facility known to the director and his replacement only. Both are dead" Steve and tony sighed. " ok then I guess we'll figure this out the hard way" tony grabbed a cup of coffee and trudged towards his lab. Leaving you Steve and Natasha who was minding her own business as everyone else slept in. 

After month in the tower you began to get used to moving around as the others did, and even began to like Steve, as a friend. Tony and Bruce more like your brothers while Clint was like an uncle that encouraged your rebellious side. Natasha being in her own category, she was much like you, red room raised and trying to make good with the world. She treated you like a younger sister that needed protection, and maybe you did but you found yourself a family.

Part of what kept you sane from jumping straight into life after being a hydra asset was a daily routine, a very strict one. Your routine was your mission and you wouldn't fail.  
Your day started with waking up at five and going for a run, even though they wouldn't let you out of the tower you used the treadmill. From that you would spare (by yourself) till seven then shower and go to make breakfast for the group before they woke up. You took to reading for an hour then doing dishes and going into the lab with tony to help with the progress of your history. And from there you had free time till dinner. ( the free time usually spent reading or, talking with Steve.)

This morning had been different, you woke up and got ready to go to the gym to run but a knock on your door stopped you. Upon opening it you saw Steve with a grin on his face as he wore his work out clothes. " I'm willing to sneak you on my run before anyone wakes up, but I have two conditions" you cocked a brow waiting for him to continue. " one you gotta wear this" he handed you a small bracelet, that no doubt had a tracker in it. " that's more for if you get lost or kidnapped and two you have to make pancakes for breakfast today" you smiled putting on the bracelet and ditching your water bottle as you followed Steve down outside. Finally out the door you watched him take in a deep breath " alright don't get lost and be back here in an hour. I have a feeling I'm going to lose you on the run" she smiled. You hugged him tightly " thank you. And I know your usual route so I'll stick to that. I want to see how many times I can lap captain America" you smirked taking off as he watched in amusement.  
After the hour. You had lapped him twice not to mention Steve's friend from the bridge you had gotten to know as sam. He made jokes as you were doing sit ups while he sat on a bench, out of breath from his few laps around the park. 

 

You knew that when the time came for them to take a mission they would either lock you in the building or have someone to babysit you while they went. What you didn't expect was to be brought on the mission. Everyone was needed to retrieve some sort of sceptre and that now meant you. It felt weird to be killing the guys with the hydra symbols and not the other way around, but it wasn't necessary bad. You liked the feeling of being good, you liked being allowed to have feelings. The mission was long and hard but you never failed. Having Bruce turn into a menacingly green rage monster was definitely a grateful surprise along with the thunder god and his magical hammer.  
You were happy to say that you were glad to be on their side and no longer with Hydra.  
In the end you had gotten said sceptre and only Clint had been injured.  
The twins, you remember seeing them powerful and smart, they would be a challenge.

Tony being the snarky stark he is took it upon himself to try and create artificial intelligence, and boy did he succeed. Ultron was let lose and took it out on Sokovia releasing hundreds of bots on the city as apparently, dropping the city and killing everything on earth wasn't enough. Who knew that by the end of the tragedy, we'd get two new friends for our family and come closer together.  
Life as an avenger was just ridiculous.


	2. Chapter two

After two years with the avengers, you could honestly say that with all the good you've done, that you've almost wiped your ledger clean... almost.  
With Thor back home and Bruce still missing, things were tense but everyone pushed past it and carried on. 

Steve was still looking for the soldier or as he called him ' Bucky' and of course sam was right with him in the search.  
You had a few ideas of where he could be, knowing him he'd pick a hydra safe house that's long forgotten. The problem with long forgotten being you'd be no help to the boys, so you said nothing and went along with your studying with stark.  
Hydra and the red room both gave you ample skills in hacking and you wanted to learn to but them to use.  
Since it had been a calm month with no missions or meetings you started a war. 

You had made dinner and everyone and the group sat chatting while they drank their beers. Tony of course after his third beer had started calling upon Jarvis about some new recruits. " Jarvis pull up the vid from earlier" after a second of silence, in which you fought hard to keep a straight face, the voice replied. " I'm sorry sir but I'm not authorized to grant your request without permission from the boss" everyone looked to tony confusion in which he shared their looks of confusion. " Jarvis you alright? Because last time i checked I was the boss"  
" yes of course sir but mr. Stark has asked me to wait on all commands until approved by mr. Stark." He sighed " what ever, just play the video J." There was another pause " I need verbal confirmation to carry out the request" tony opened his mouth but you cut him off " yes Jarvis you can play the video" everyone looked from you to tony in surprise as you smiled " sorry tony but I thought Jarvis could use a break from you. He looked at you with his mouth wide in amazement as everyone else turned to watch the video of some skinny kid in a crappy spider costume stop a car from hitting a bus.  
during the next morning as a team you had decided that Clint would shadow him till he could find a name and then we'd go from there, and after a week of running around in queens he had found nothing. Finally stepping up you volunteered to go under cover at the high school near most of all the videos had been taken.  
After everyone agreed the team set to work on making your new identity, you always loved this part. 

You were playing the part of one, Mara Blume a very smart, German foreign exchange student. You would change your long brown hair for blond and your sense of fashion from being anything black, to lots of flower patterned dresses or skirts with blouses and flats. You looked ridiculous, but you held on and carried out your mission. 

The school was pretty large and with your first month came some sort of assembly.  
You sat in the bleachers holding back your laugher while you watched Steve in a video about fitness. Although the sound of two boys in front of you was drawing your attention. " do you know him too?" The larger one whispered, " Not yet " the other boy replied. You stood making your ways to the empty bathroom and calling tony. " hay kiddo-" you rolled your eyes at his nickname " I've found the kid. Heard him talking about it to his friend. He's really bad at being quiet" tony laughed  
" alright you shadow him and I'll drop by tomorrow to pick you both up." You hung up and went back out waiting at the doors of the gym waiting for him. After a while you watched him pile out with the crowd and you made your way over to him. " hi" you said shyly tucking your hair behind your ear, he looked surprised. " oh uh hi, your the new girl right?" You nodded " my names Mara, and your peter right? From math?" He nodded " well you seem really good and I was wondering if you could maybe help me?" He looked at you for a moment silent, quickly snapping himself out of it " oh uh yeah I could come over later or-" you shook your head " I was wondering if I could come to your house" you paused blushing slightly " I'm not allowed to have boys over" he nodded " uh yeah sure that's, yeah!" He sputtered. You smiled thanking him as you followed him back to his locker since it was already the end of the day. 

You both talked for a while as you followed him home finally going through the front door. " aunt may I'm home" he said loudly before leading you up to his room.  
The room was small and cramped with a small bed and desk with a couple chairs near the window. " sorry it's messy" he said rushing around picking things up quickly before shoving them in his closet. You smiled " no worries mines not much better, I've got boxes littered everywhere" he smiled back grabbing his bag and sitting on his bed. You moved towards him taking off your bag and sitting on the other end of his bed while he started to go over the booklet.  
After an hour of acting dumb and letting him help with the questions you both decided to take a break and you started talking. " so how do you like it here? Make any friends at school yet?" You shrugged " I miss my old house but I like this place, its different and as for the friends... not really" his eyebrows rose " really? I thought you'd have plenty of friends by now" you smiled opening your mouth to reply but got cut off as the door opened revealing a surprised woman as she looked from you to Peter. " shoot" he jumped up going towards the door as she moved aside closing the door leaving you alone in the room while he talked to his aunt in the hall. You took the opportunity to get up and open the ceiling hatch, quickly catching his suit before it hit the floor trying to avoid his possible sensitive hearing.  
You were right, seconds after you caught the suit the door opened and closed again as he snatched up the suit quickly throwing it in his laundry hamper. " so it really is you" you said dropping the innocent act he looked confused and slightly scared " who-" you cut him off " I am an agent of the avengers and well we'd been looking to recruit you." His eyebrows shot up " but your so young! How could you be an avenger, do you have powers too?" You shook your head " that's classified information I can't release" he was in aw " they want me to join?" You nodded " you'd be a valuable asset to the avengers" he shook his head " I couldn't keep that from aunt ma-"  
" you wouldn't have to. We could even set you up with an apartment in stark tower where you could both live, or mr. Stark could figure out an excuse to get you over there without telling her if you would prefer" he sat on his bed mulling it over as you sat next to him. " I don't want her to know" you nodded well mr. Starks coming over tomorrow so you can make the decision then, but till then I'll let you be and head home, You've got school tomorrow." You left him in deep thought as you left saying good bye to his aunt while you left walking back to your small apartment. 

The day after you got back you woke up to a knock on the door. Groaning as you opened the door you watched Natasha gracefully slip by you and move to sit on your bed. Sighing you closed the door and sat next to her waiting for what she had come to say. " last night Steve got a lead on Bucky and left to go get him" your eyebrows rose slowly, " Steve convinced him to come along and their on their way back now. He's in a stable condition but we think I'd be better if he-"  
" didn't know I was here? To make sure he doesn't revert to the soldier?" Natasha nodded. You sighed nodding,  
" I want a treadmill and a boxing bag moved in here with a mini fridge if I'm being confined to my room."  
Nat nodded " it'll only be for a week or so"  
she smiled lightly but you just nodded " yeah what ever" you moved to the bathroom closing the door behind you. And so you sat alone in your room for what felt like years while you counted down the days till you could leave. 

After three days of binge watching shows off Netflix and working out on the treadmill in the corner of your room, you were finally fed up. It was four am and you were out of orange juice, which only meant you had to either call someone to get you more, or break the rules and go get it your self. Who'd be up at this hour in the kitchen anyway right?

Wrong. You'd walked down the hall freezing when you saw the mop of brown hair sitting at the kitchen island. You knew he had heard you, and you could tell he knew who you were by the tenseness in his shoulders. You walked towards the fridge grabbing the orange juice and closing the fridge and turning to find a glass. But as you attempted to turn you felt the knife swiftly find its place on your neck. " why are you here?" He growled pressing the knife into your neck, pressing into your skin causing blood to rise. " I'm not with Hydra anymore. The avengers saved me after DC and I've been with them ever since. I am not threat to you" you let out feeling the knife slip away. You turned to look at him slowly moving your hands slowly to your belt and grabbing the knife you kept on yourself at all times. He watched your movements intensely, taking the knife as you handed it to him. " who are you?" He asked finally letting his curiosity loose. " my name is Masha Kaprov. I am a former Hydra asset and had worked with you for a mission" he nodded letting you move to grab a glass for the orange juice that was still in your hand. He sat back behind the counter watching you intently. " you look familiar" he mumbled, you weren't even sure if he knew he said it out loud but you answered anyway. " yes we've worked together before as I said, but if your referring to us looking similar I am unsure but our handler told me it was mere coincidence." His jaw tightened at the mention of pierce but didn't move otherwise. As you finished your drink you put the cup in the sink and started towards the elevator. " technically I'm not supposed to leave my room but I guess the damage is done. I'll see you tomorrow" you walked back away leaving him in the dark, silent kitchen.

Buckys POV

she was familiar. But not from the missions and then there was her looks, the same long brow hair and bright blue eyes. The moment he'd seen her he remembered the time they drove through DC while on a mission together. Her words echoing in his head 'are you my father?' He stood suddenly almost knocking over his chair and grabbing the knife he'd threatened her with towards the labs. He set the knife down carefully looking at it for a moment. " Jarvis?" He asked, like tony had said to do the cool voice replied to him awaiting his command. " can you walk me through how to run a DNA test?" The looked down to the knife still red slightly from what little blood it did catch. " of course mr Barnes-" he went on slowly, step by step leading him through what to do before finally the results came through. Her instincts had been true, he really was her father. He sank to the floor clutching the paper in his metal fist, " Jarvis don't tell anyone about this, or show them the results" he said before he zoned out completely in the mercy of his own mind. 

Your POV

Of course being up already you sat watching tv till the frantic knock at your door. Quickly you got up opening it to see both Steve and Natasha with looks of worry and anger written across their features. He barged in first her not far in tow, " you left your room, spoke to him and now he's missing!" Steve said frantically waving his arms around. The confusion on your face you opened your mouth to say something but Jarvis spoke first alerting everyone that tony had found him in his lab.  
You followed Steve and Nat towards Tony's lab seeing him passed out on the floor.  
" why was he in here?" Steve said looking down to his friend with a frown. " don't know but I asked Jarvis and he won't tell me! He's erased the camera footage and frosty here's got something in his hand but I can't pry it open and I don't want to wake him."  
Steve kneeled down to him taking in his appearance. " he wasn't sleeping" you cut through the silence. " he was awake when I went down to him, I could tell he hasn't slept since he got here. His movements were sloppy and careless." You said leaning down " ill wake him up but you'll want to move back" Steve shook his head " no he'll hurt yo-"  
" he won't because he can't. Asset or not he'll stop before he can kill me, you forget Steve that I was with hydra too and the drilled him not to kill other assets." With that the three moved back giving you plenty of room before you touched his shoulder. His eyes shot open and his left hand dropped the paper shooting up for your neck. You grabbed his arm tightly but didn't fight back, you just looking into his eyes watching as he recognized you and instantly let got. Grabbing the paper once again crumpling it into his metal fist. " what's that?" Steve moved forwards and Buckys eyes shot towards him. Your hands still on his arms, you felt him twitch and tense up. His movements seemed like the soldiers but his eyes screamed something different. He stood quickly picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder, the others didn't even have time to react before he was dragging you out the door and down the hall. You didn't fight him as he hauled you towards his room, unsure what was about to happen.  
He dropped you on the bed and moved his dresser over the door and locked it before he turned to you. He walked forwards stopping a foot away looking down at you for a minute before he reached his metal fist out and opened it to reveal the paper he'd been guarding in his fist. You took it carefully looking to him for a moment then looking back at the ball. You started to unwrap it careful not to rip it since in had been packed together tightly from his metal grip.  
Finally getting it unfolded you began to read what it had said. 

You had been right this whole time. James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter soldier was your father... 

You sat on the bed frozen looking at the words over and over unaware of the banging and yelling coming from the door. Till Steve had finally broken down the door, Bucky moved to stop him but Steve stopped in the door way looking to you " Masha are you ok?" You snapped out of your head and looked up at Steve unsure what to say. You shoved the paper forwards and he slowly moved to take it, looking to Natasha and tony through the broken door. He read the paper and then looked at you and Bucky before sighing. Both tony and Natasha, still very confused came through the hole in the door and took the paper from Steve before reading it themselves. " fucking Hydra" Steve sighed leaving you all to look to the man unsure what else could be said in a moment like this.  
" dad?" Buckys eyes snapped to hers "can I just keep calling you Bucky?" He grinned " yeah" he chuckled. " awww" everyone looked to tony who was smiling " you ruined it tony" you sighed leaving the room with a slight smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading I hope you liked it, let me know about any spelling or other mistakes.
> 
> Don't forget to check out the other stories on my page!


	3. Chapter three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as some people asked about more of Masha's history and her mother I added this short chapter. 
> 
> I just completed my main story called forgive and forget, so go check that out if you want. If I get more people asking for certain things about Masha I might add them in but I'm primarily focused on my school rn. 
> 
> ENJOY!

August 1st 2012  
Your POV

**You remember very little of this year because of the drugs they had been giving you but you faintly remember a fight even though it was just the beginning of the month.**

**Everyone acted weird around you they were being nicer to you and it had been throwing you off all day. But then before it was even past noon you and all the other girls were brought to the training area.  
You were the only one told to change out of your night gown and the only one to be in the ring, while the others stood off along the sides whispering about what was happening.**

**You grabbed a garrotte and a small knife quickly tucking them into your waist band before moving back to the middle of the ring. Soon after a man stepped out into the fight covered head to toe in black. He was in combat boots and thick pants with a belt to hold his weapons. His jacket was thin, dark with gloves to hid his hands and finally his mussel like mask and goggles, hiding his face from recognition along with his shoulder length dark brown hair. The man looked like a shadow in the light and you could only imagine what he'd look like in the dark.**

**He walked past you to the wall of weapons simply grabbing a knife before he moved back to the other side of the ring flipping the knife in his fingers. subconsciously you smirked watching as he flipped the knife trying to scare you but you stood waiting for him to make the first move.  
He walked forwards knife darting out fast slicing your cheek slightly as you dodged, moving to his side and kicking at his feet. He moved away standing still twirling his knife while you looked him over trying to find a weak spot. Noticing how he leaned left you quickly darted forwards launching your knife into his arm, but were met with the sound of metal against metal. He reached out but you flipped back looking to your knife that had been broken at the hilt. You looked up at him confused but he just charged at you. Throwing the broken knife out of the ring you dodged his fists and managed to get behind him quick enough to jump onto his back and pull your garrotte around his neck. He stumbled for a moment trying the break the wire before he fell to his knees and then fell backwards on top of you. You hit your head and everything had gone fuzzy as you groaned and rolled over. Your vision cleared just enough for you to see the man getting up next to you and coming forwards he put his hand around your throat and began to choke you. Your head was fuzzy and everything was hard to focus on but as your adrenaline kicked in, it got better. Your legs shot out wrapping around his neck tightening as you pushed away trying to break his grip on your throat. Just as the corners of your vision began to turn black he let go and you both fell to the floor gasping. Still disoriented you stood on wobbly feet jumping on top of him and wrapping your arm around his throat holding him in a choke hold. He had his right hand pulling against your arms but his left laid limp against his side as he struggled against you. After almost two minutes of him trying to break free his left arm shot up and ripped you off flipping you over him and on to the mats. It felt like you had broken something and you probably did but you both stood slowly trying to catch your breaths. His goggles had come off in our tussle and so you looked into his eyes as he did you.**

**He recovered quicker and moved forwards but you spun on your heal and kicked the side of his head sending him down to the mats. You jumped on top of him quickly punching him over and over till he was down but he pulled you off and stood swiftly moving towards you once again. You were out of breath and not strong enough to beat him so you just waited for his next move and tried to catch your breath. Seeing his arm come out you gasped in a breath as fast as you could before his fingers wrapped around your throat once again. You lifted your legs up wrapping around his arm and pushing your feet against his head as hard as you could. With his head to the side you quickly moved your legs back and kicked him square in the face as hard as you could. He dropped down unconscious as blood pooled down his face from his broken nose. You went for your garrotte but you were stopped as two men came down and pulled the man away. You turned looking to the girls seeing their faces for the first time since the battle, they all looked terrified as to what i had down before they all rushed off whispering about my fight. There was a light clap behind you making you turn quickly only to see Madame B clapping with a small smile on her face. You walked up towards her, your feet still wobbly and your head still fuzzy. " very impressive, you show great potential." You nodded " yes thank you Madame but if i may ask to go to the infirmary i think iv got a concussion." She nodded " before you go id just like to congratulate you on your graduation" your eyes widened a smile creeping across your face " yes thank you" you turned walking away when she called out " oh and happy birthday."**

  
You shot up from your bed gasping for breath from your dream before you quickly stood moving to the shower to wash away your sweat.  
As you stood under the warm stream of water you thought about what you had remembered. " Jarvis what day is it today?" You turned letting the water run down your back, "it is may 4th miss Kaprov" you sighed " i told you to call me Masha" Jarvis hummed " yes sorry Masha ill be sure to call you that from now on" you cranked the heat on the shower feeling the tingle of head cascade Down your body. " oh Jarvis can you ask Bucky when he wakes up if he remembers august 2012?" There was a silence " iv just asked him and he said no" you huffed in frustration as you stepped out of the shower and began to towel off. " where is he?"  
You said moving into your room to find fresh clothes " he's in the kitchen."  
You thanked the machine and got dressed before brushing your hair quickly and making your way to the kitchen.

He was sitting in the dark letting the rising sun illuminate the room when you walked in.  
" what's so interesting about august 2012?" He said as you went into the fridge looking for food. " its when we first met." His eyes shot towards you confusion written on his face. " then why didn't y- did they wipe you?" You shook your head " no I just had a really bad concussion, and everything was fuzzy till now." His eyes searched your face for a lie but settled after finding non. " it was august first 2012, they brought me to the ring and told me to pick my weapons, so I picked a knife and a garrotte. I had beaten all other opponents with ease and so when you came in I had my doubts.  
They had you in your full gear mask and goggles included even hiding your arm." You paused taking a bite of your cereal. " you thinking you could beat me took a simple knife and then we fought. We fought for a long time. You lost your knife, I broke mine on your arm. We gave each other a run for our money, you threw me around giving me a concussion but then I kicked your face and then punched you. Then we wrestled around till you got my throat in your arm and just held me there. And then I kicked your face and you were out cold." He shivered slightly looking downwards, " they took you away and then Madame B came to talk to me. She said I was good and when I walked away she said happy birthday." His head turned up, his eyes wide. He stood off the stood gripping his head tightly as his breathing began to pick up

Buckys POV

**His handler told him to pick a name and that made his head hurt. The small voice in the back of his head said Sarah but he shook it off knowing they would want it to be russian. " Natalia" he let out making his handler look angry, " try again" was all he said. He thought for another minute and once again the small voice whispered Rebecca. He rubbed his head trying to rid the pain, before finally looking to the woman on the table who didn't look like she was going to make it. " what do you want to name her" he asked coldly. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was slowed but she smiled just slightly " Masha Natalya Mikhail-" she let out before she had died from all the blood loss. " Masha kaprov" his handler said taking the baby into his arms.  
The asset took a step closer to see his baby but his handler turned shaking his head " shes your replacement, not your distraction" and with that he was sent off to be wiped while she was sent off to grow up and be trained in the red room.**

He was kneeling on the floor gasping for air with Masha rubbing his back repeating " its ok. Your ok." He moved leaning against the counter still trying to catch his breath as he went over what he had just remembered. She was sitting right in front on him, worry painting her face. He looked her in the eye for a moment " Masha Natalya Mikhailovich" his voice shaky and quiet. Her face went from confused to shock as her hands flew to her face, tears rushing down her cheeks.  
" your mother was-" he grasped his head squeezing his eye shut as he went over the memory for her name. " Yana. Yana Mikhailovich" he stood picking her up and carried her over to the couch where she gripped his neck while she cried.  
After almost an hour of silence from her, still curled up on his lap he moved slightly to see she had fallen asleep. He sighed leaning his head back against the couch and kept going over and over what he had remembered, while soon enough he joined her in sleep.

  
Your POV

You woke up to a painful pressure on your wrist and faint mumbling from behind you. Bucky was having a nightmare and had his metal hand wrapped around your wrist while he squeezed. His head tossed back and forth and he mumbled over and over " Steve's never going to forgive me" you carefully got off him before you tried to pry his hand open but couldn't. "Jarvis go get Steve tell him its an emergency!" You said panic taking over as you felt his grip still tightening. Steve ran into the room with just his boxers and his shield before he saw you and bolted to you both on the couch.  
Both of us got my wrist free but he was still chanting " Steve's never going to forgive me" he looked at me worriedly moving one hand forwards to wake him while his shield moved to block us both from potential fists.

  
December 12th 1999  
Buckys POV

**They had woken him like any other mission except this time the mission was different.  
** Vasily Kaprov (his current handler) and undersecretary Alexander Pierce had given him a mission he wasn't trained for. They took him to his bunk and in there was a young woman who he'd never seen before.  
The file had no information other than her name and his mission, and his mission was Yana Mikhailovich. She cowered in the corner crying as he approached her.  
He knew what he was doing was wrong, part of him kept repeating 'Steve's never going to forgive me' in his head. He didn't know who Steve was but thinking about him made his head hurt. 

**The woman fought against him but he held her armed above her head while he took her. after she stopped crying, time went on for what seemed like forever. He let himself go within her whispering a name he'd long forgotten and soon forget once more.**

"NATALIA" he yelled as he sat up on the couch in front of both Steve and Masha,  
Who looked worried. He leaned over the edge of the couch and threw up on the floor as he let himself cry. Steve and Masha were both quiet and stood frozen on the spot as he quickly stood and began a rampage around the lounge.

  
Your POV

You and Steve watched Bucky marching around the room knocking things over and punching the walls while he babbled incoherently, the tears still streaming down his face. After a minute of his rampage Natasha and Clint came rushing in with Tony in tow. Bucky looked to Natasha and just collapsed to the floor while he cried. Everyone stood watching him unsure what to do till Wanda came down and quickly moved over towards him and touched his head. He stopped crying instantly and then she looked towards you and Steve " he's asleep" she said stepping away from him. " what the hell" Tony stepped forwards looking at all the damage before his gaze fell to both you and Steve " why didn't you stop him!" He moved closer to the couch before he looked downwards " what did i just step in." He said his tone flat " oh god what the fucking hell is this" he said looking up to you both. " he just. Lost it" Steve said. " Jarvis play the footage of when i came into the kitchen till now."  
The screen came up and the footage started making everyone move closer to the couches. Everyone was silent watching what happened till it ended and everyone looked to Natasha who was looking to Bucky, still unconscious on the floor.  
She left without a word going back to her room with Clint following behind her, while everyone else was still confused as to what happened. " we can figure this out in the morning. Rogers take him back to his room and everyone else just go back to bed" Tony said pulling out his phone to no doubt call a cleaning service for everything.

You followed Steve into Buckys room, watching him put buck on the bed before he pulled up a chair next to the bed. " I don't know if he was talking about me or Natasha." You said sitting of the other side of the bed. " I don't-"  
" my name, he remembered my real name. The one my mom gave me" Steve's eyebrows lifted " Masha Natalya Mikhailovich."  
" its pretty. You should change it back once this is all over." You nodded " i might change it to Barnes, if Bucky says yes" Steve smiled " I'm sure he'd love that. He always wanted kids. Even if his skirt chasing said otherwise, he always said that when he found the right gal he'd settle down and have kids." Steve said fondly looking over Bucky. " i always forget how old he is, he still looks like he's twenty." Steve laughs " well he's twenty nine biologically" you nodded letting yourself drift off once more.

The morning came fast and everyone spent it in the meeting room, since the kitchen and lounge were out of bounds for the day. Bucky woke up in a catatonic state so you and Steve both left him alone asking Jarvis to alert everyone if he moved or spoke.  
He didn't.

The meeting lasted over an hour with you telling them what had happened and them still not sure what set him off. And what Nat had to do with it. When it ended you went back to Buckys room seeing him in the exact same spot. " please tell me what happened" you said softly sitting next to him on the bed. " Bucky?" Still nothing " dad?" His eyes shot upwards looking directly at you " what happened? What did you dream about?" He shook his head. " will you tell someone else?" He looked off to the side for a minute then looked back to you " Steve" you smiled sadly " ok I'll go get him, do you want something to drink?" He nodded, you left going to find Steve and get him some water.

You went to Steve's room first knocking on the door barley waiting till the door swung open. " he wants to talk to you about what happened" Steve nodded practically flying out the door to Bucky. Leaving them both you went back to your room dropping down on your bed exhausted from last night.

You hadn't realized you'd fallen asleep till you jolted awake at the sound of knocking at your door. Slipping off your bed you opened the door seeing Natasha trying to tuck away her discomfort. " Barnes wants to talk to you" she uttered before practically rushing down the hall to her own room. You watched her disappear down the hall, taking a second before you closed the door and going over to his room.

" buck?" You opened the door slowly peering inside, seeing him sitting on the edge of his bed. You closed the door behind you making your way over to sit next to him.  
" your mother was taken by hydra. She- I forced her" he choked out letting his head fall forward. " I know" his head jerked up to face you with a confused look. " well its hydra. It's not like I expected a love story. Iv always known " You smiled sadly.  
" you should hate me" his head dropping down once again " but I don't. Because it wasn't you and it wasn't your fault"  
" it's-" you stood quickly cutting him off " don't you dare say it was your fault. Don't you even dare." There was a moment of silence between you both before you sat down again. " why did you call out for Natasha?" He shook his head " I knew her. She said that I was the one that trained her" you let your mouth fall open in shock for only a second before closing it and nodding to your surprise. You stood leaving for the door after you finished talking and went back to your room thinking over everything that had happened.

July 8th

It had been a few months since Buckys breakdown and everything went back to normal. You hadn't asked Bucky about changing your name even though Steve kept pushing you to do it saying that I shouldn't keep the name of my handler, and he was right. As good as Masha Kaprov sounded it wasn't who you were and neither was Masha Mikhailovich. Getting tired of Steve and now Natasha's ranting you agreed to to it later in the day since it was still very early.

You found him in the gym later in the afternoon using the punching bag to take out his frustrations. " wanna spar" his head snapped towards you surprised for a moment before he shook his head and continued his assault on the bag. Watching till he finished and grabbed his towel to dry himself off. " I was thinking, and well Steve thinks it's a good idea" you paused as he looked towards you with a raised brow " well if the punk thinks so" he joked lightly making you smile with him. " I wanted to change my name" his smile faded to a confused frown " to what?"  
" Masha Barnes. But only if your ok with it!" He stared at you for a moment making you regret asking " I- I knew it was to much. I mean you didn't even ask for a ki-" you stopped stammering as his mouth slowly curled into a smile. " Masha Barnes." He smiled wider before he tugged you into a hug. " i love it" he said his grip tightened before he let you go. " I was just going to ask tony but I think I need your signature" he nodded grabbing his bag from the floor " just let me shower and I'll be right up. You go get it started" you followed him to the elevator, both smiling like idiots but you didn't care because you were finally cutting your last tie to Hydra. 

**Author's Note:**

> :^)


End file.
